I want to be ballsy like the great prophet, Isaiah. I want to be free from my doubting smallness, the part of me that is so very human. I want to be grand, universal, someone not afraid to push myself and everyone else to the goodness we refuse to pick up.
I want to say, like Isaiah said, forget about the fasting of food, drink. God does not care about your occasional curse word. That is all insignificant shit anyway. Rid yourself, not of these petty habits, but of the larger things that hold you back. Fast from selfishness. From doubt. From self-loathing. Fast from making yourself smaller than you are, less powerful than you could be. Fast from taking it easy. From blending in. From being nonchalant about the gifts you have been given. Starve yourself of fear. Eat no more from the plate of reigning in, do not take one more bite of containing yourself. Throw away every morsel of niggling anxiety.
Give up, quit, renounce, surrender, pass up, refuse, refrain from, take away every single thing that keeps you from being yourself. Try that for Lent. Try doing that to serve your God.
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