Wednesday, June 6, 2012

Do You Know How Much I Love You?


Lately (and by lately I mean right now), I feel like my heart is swollen to its capacity.  Like I am so full with something like love that I do not know what to do.  Tonight was the poetry play and, my god, those kids were amazing.  Even though I wove the text from things they wrote, and I have heard them practice a gazillion times and even though I chose the music, and we have sung those songs a gazillion and one times, tonight it seemed like a new bloom. 

Carter spoke his lines while his mother, with stage 4 cancer, listened.  Amani's father heard how hard it is since the divorce.  Maddie's mom cried over the story about the sick cat.  Will made everyone laugh. Twice.  Jade spoke with such conviction she shook the house.  I could go on and on.  Jack, with autism, spoke his lines perfectly.  Juliet, sweet tiny Juliet, smiled the whole 50 minutes.  Sam captivated the crowd -- paused so that they were trying to catch every dripping word. And the songs?  All goosebumps and tears. At the end, picture this: 72 kids and 300 of the people that love them singing "Lean on me" -- all clapping on the off beat, all singing with their chins to the clear blue sky.  Every heart open. Every heart.

And somewhere in the midst of it, my own heart got so big I thought my chest would crack and I would die of some kind of tenderness.  I was so proud, so humbled and so shaken by the kids’ earnest trust a good world. The thing that ten-year-olds do the best?  It's make you believe.  Believe in better.

I do not have children, except for nights like tonight when I have 72.  And let me tell you, I am one proud mama.

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