Cozy

There are some people with whom it is immediately cozy.  Like we tuck ourselves into a nook and have a safe haven wherein to rest. Tonight I asked Pam to meet me for dinner.  We talked about the danger of boredom, rising anxiety, eating away feelings, our emotional well-being, physical shortcomings, needing others, seeking support, finding ways to serve others and save ourselves.   We ate at Luna, a new bistro nearby.  She had a crepe, I had a panini.  To the left were two women, I think. To the right, a man with a graying sexy beard and a European accent.  I do not know when he left, but he did.  I am not sure when the women to the left left.  But when I looked up, new customers had taken their places and each was well into their dinner plate.  That's what happens when I am with Pam, or Deanne, or Terre, or David, or Anne, or Mark...or when I am within myself, willing to open up and share my real concerns with others. 

Today is my brother and sister-in-law's 20th wedding anniversary.  What an accomplishment.  He has found his safe haven, and, lord, it is a crowded nest.  Four kids later, a dog, a big beautiful house that needs to be painted every ten years, work sprouting up all over the country.  Jean and Mark have built that life.  The one we all saw.  Part Dick, part Jane.  Modern-day storybook.  (And I mean that not in naive way that does not acknowledge all of the stressors and complexities of sustaining a family and its love in the year 2011).   His is a cozy life, I think, from what I can imagine and see.  And mine, even though I am not linked to another, is cozy too.Yes, I long for another.  Yes, someday I would like to toast a beloved after 20 years.  But until that's possible, I will click a panini with a crepe and be thankful for the dose of love I got tonight.  The rest I had in the cozy.  It's enough, for now, to keep me going.